From Pain to Purpose: My Journey as a New Father

Introduction: The Honest Reality of My Life Right Now

Becoming a father changes you — sometimes in ways you expect, but often in ways that shake you to your core. When my twins were born, everything in my inside world shifted. The weight of new responsibility, the sleepless nights, feeding, changing diapers, financial burden — it all came crashing in at once but what caught me off guard wasn’t the chaos of parenting but what parenting revealed about me.

I realized how unprepared I truly was — not just practically, but emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t recognize myself. My health had taken a backseat for years. My body was paying the price. I was surviving on junk food and screen time, skipping exercise, numbing myself with dopamine loops. I too had big dreams, but I never really gave them the discipline they deserved. Just kept telling myself “Someday”… and that day never came.

I had moments where I knew my life was slipping from my hands as I was missing deadlines, losing sharpness in my profession. I knew I was wasting the life I was given. But I always carried the illusion that I had time. All those illusions were stripped away when I became a father.

When you become a father and you hold your babies for the first time then you realise how fragile and real everything is. NOW I wasn’t just living for myself anymore — and that terrified me to the core.

Now, things are different. Not perfect — but more grounded.
I have the unconditional love inside me for my babies. I have two little souls who don’t care about my resume — they just want my presence. I laugh more now. Cry more too. And somewhere in the mess of all this emotion, I’ve started feeling alive again.

There are days when my chest feels heavy just thinking about the future. Days I feel I’m not doing enough. But there’s also a quiet fire inside me now — not to chase success, but to reclaim myself.

That’s where this blog, Evolving Dad, comes in.

It’s not about being a perfect DAD.
It’s about being painfully human — flawed, tired, lost at times — but still choosing to show up.
Still choosing to write. Still choosing to fight for the man I want to become.

I have not figured it out. Not even close. But if you’ve ever looked at your life and thought, “I need to change… but I don’t know where to start,” then maybe this space is for you too.

We can begin here — one word, one day, one breath at a time.

 Section 2: What Made Me Start This Blog

I realised that for a very long time, I kept everything inside me — All the pressure, the confusion, the guilt, the self-doubt, the small wins, and the silent breakdowns. I would scroll through my phone all day like a machine. My life was in a loop. Get up, survive, crash, repeat. But fatherhood woke up a part of me that had gone quiet, a part that needed to speak.

I started this blog because I needed some space. Not physical space but an emotional one. A space to pause and think. A space to observe myself while going through this messy, uncertain, exhausting, and strangely beautiful phase of life. Writing gives me that space. It pauses the noise and lets me listen to what’s really going on inside me.

I also started this blog because I realized that I was changing. Slowly, roughly, many times painfully — but changing. And I didn’t want that process to go undocumented. This is a period that I wish to use as a learning experience, rather than simply endure.  Maybe I will remember this phase with pride someday.

This blog is for that exact purpose. It’s a record and a mirror.  A quiet corner on internet where I can be myself and figure out life one day at a time.

If you’re here still reading this, maybe you’re also in your own version of this journey. Maybe you’re also trying to make sense of your reality and if that’s so, know that you’re not alone, I am with you and we will make this journey together

 Section 3: What You Can Expect Here

This blog is not at all a manual. It’s not written by someone who has life all figured out or who wakes up every day with perfect discipline and a big smile.

This is a space for the in-between moments — the ones that surely do not make it to Instagram or Facebook stories. The days when you’re exhausted but refuse to give up. The nights when you lie on bed, awake and alone wondering if you’re doing enough. The small wins, the messy failures, and the quiet determination to try again tomorrow.

Here’s what you’ll find on Evolving Dad:

• Honest reflections on fatherhood, identity, and personal growth
• Small stories from my day-to-day life — moments with my kids, with myself
• Mindset shifts I’m trying to make — to become healthier, calmer, and more grounded person
• Struggles I’m working through, one at a time — from breaking bad habits to rebuilding self-worth
• And sometimes, just raw thoughts — when the mind is too full to filter

There won’t be perfect grammar or fancy quotes in every post. But there will always be truth. Sometimes gentle, sometimes uncomfortable, but always real.

If you’re a parent, or someone trying to put themselves back together quietly — in the background of life — I hope you’ll find something here that makes you pause, reflect, or feel a little less alone.

Future Plans for the Blog

As Evolving Dad grows, I want it to become more than just a personal journal.

I plan to include:

• Simple, practical life lessons I learn while raising my children
• Mindful habit change experiments I try to stay sane and healthy
• Letters to my kids, that maybe they’ll read when they grow up
• And something very close to my heart — insights from the Bhagavad Gita.
  Not from a scholarly angle, but as a fellow struggler trying to apply its wisdom in daily life. What Krishna said to Arjuna isn’t just about war — it’s about confusion, duty, purpose, and courage. And I’m learning how deeply it speaks to a modern, tired, unsure man like me.

In time, I hope this blog evolves along with me — from survival, to clarity, to something meaningful which I can look back on with pride.

“If you have thoughts, struggles, or ideas — feel free to comment. Let’s grow together.”

Section 4: My Promise

I’m not here to impress you.

I’m here to write my way through the confusion of becoming a better man.

I can’t promise that every post will be profound. I can’t even promise consistency right now — life with twins doesn’t run on a schedule. But I can promise this:

• I will always write the truth — even if it’s uncomfortable
• I will keep going, even when I fall short
• I will not pretend to be someone I’m not
• I will treat this blog not just as a platform, but as a practice — a discipline of self-reflection and growth

There will be days when I’ll question everything. Days when I’ll want to delete it all. But I’ve deleted too many versions of myself already.

This time, I’ll stay.

Because I owe it to myself — and maybe to someone out there who feels like they’re the only one fighting quiet battles in the dark.

I don’t have the answers. But I have questions worth asking. And a life worth rebuilding. Slowly. Mindfully. One post at a time.

That’s my promise.

Section 5: Closing – An Invitation

If you’ve read this far, thank you.

You didn’t have to. But you did. And maybe that means something.

Maybe you’re also figuring life out quietly — between work and family, between your past and your future, between the man you were and the one you’re trying to become. If so, this blog is for you. Not to give answers, but to walk together while asking better questions.

You don’t have to be a father to relate to this space. You just have to be trying to become better version of yourself each day. Someone evolving — even if no one else notices it.

So, if you ever feel like dropping by again, I’ll be here. Writing. Reflecting. Falling. Getting up. Sharing what it feels like to be human, in all its rawness and hope.

This is Evolving Dad — and it’s just getting started.